Side note: Although I had no intentions of lining this up with BTSxARMY Day, it magically happened that way! Plus, with BTS’ new release of “Permission to Dance,” this was only fitting. Sometimes timing in life happens for a reason, so here we are! She a little long, but she got a lot of substance to her. Enjoy :)
Disclaimer: All writings are my own thoughts and opinions and should not be taken as matter of fact. All findings are from my own personal experiences. Again, all blogs are written and made by me and used as a way to express my own thoughts, opinions, and views. Thank you for checking it out.
When we think about health, we each have our own broad definition and what that means to us individually. However, I think it boils down to how we really, truly feel. Our minds are one of the most powerful tools we have - which is almost hard to consider since our brains are also the most sensitive to any type of change. Our minds are affected by everything - daily stress, daily tasks, daily thoughts, daily functioning. Even eating and breathing can be a challenge, but it is considered a natural phenomenon because our mind/brain tells us when we’re hungry, need to breathe, and so on.
Back to our minds - it is the foundation of everything we do in our lives. From what we think, what we feel, and what we display. Our minds radiate the energy we give off. For example, if you think and feel unworthy, sad, or upset, then likely your energy will stem from these thoughts. Another example: if you think highly of yourself, remain confident, and stay upbeat, then likely you will radiate that same energy. But let’s be honest, sometimes it’s not always that easy, and surely it is not always that “black and white” either. There are SO many factors that contribute to our mental well-being, especially when it comes to mental health.
Back to our main point though - rather than focusing on the physical sides of being healthy, we should shift this focus and highlight what’s truly important here. Our minds, our mental health, and our ability to self-appreciate.
Today’s little blog/mini guide wants to focus on that aspect - how we can love ourselves more, which can then lead to looking and feeling good. Again, I am no expert but found these to be super helpful in my own personal journey. Take it with a grain of salt, they may not all apply to you, but I hope that some of these things inspire you to take a step back and appreciate yourself more.
1. Limit the Nitpicking
I think we can admit we’re all guilty of this: “I don’t like my eyes, my lips. I’m too small chested, my waist is too thick, my hips aren’t large enough, I have too many pimples and scars, etc. etc.” Part of this stems from staring at ourselves in our mirrors or selfie-cams too often. Nothing wrong with checking yourself out, but the longer and more frequent we look at ourselves, the more room we have to nitpick. So glance at yourself, check yourself out, and move forward. The less time you focus on looking at yourself in a thorough manner, the less you can point out.
2. No Need to (Over) Apologize
We’re all guilty of this. We say “sorry” for almost everything we do. Let’s be honest for a second - what do you have to be sorry for? For being a human? When you think about it, it’s almost redundant, because we apologize for being human, and we need to stop that. So, to switch it around, say “thank you” instead. Here are some examples of that.
Instead of saying “sorry for asking so many questions,” turn it around and say “thank you for answering my questions.” See the difference? Or “sorry for upsetting you,” change it to “thank you for being patient with me.” A few more examples I think are helpful: “Sorry I'm late” to “thank you for waiting!” / “sorry I talk a lot” to “thank you for listening to what I have to say”
It takes time to practice, it’s a habit that takes time to change. However, the moment you learn to say “thank you” versus “sorry” all the time, you appreciate yourself more because you realize you’re human too. It’s also a good reminder to let others know that they do not need to apologize for something that is not their fault. But if you did something wrong, then apologize when needed, but don’t apologize for being a normal, living, breathing human-being
3. Your Validation >> Other People’s Validation
We live in a time where we all want to feel validated for how we feel, look, and think. Thank you social media! Because now, we’re drawn to online self-gratification more than we’d like to believe. Of course, there is nothing wrong with some appreciation from others here and there, but remember that your validation is much more valuable than anyone else’s.
At the end of the day, whether people like you or not, you are stuck with yourself for the rest of your life - so make yourself feel loved, appreciated, and validated. Only YOU are worthy of validating your self-worth and self-value.
4. Accept Imperfection(s)
Perfectionism is an extremely outdated thought process. Perfection is not realistic. The idea that we need to be “perfect” and 100% skillful at everything is the ultimate recipe for disaster. The inability to cope and inability to grasp failing as a natural process lies within perfectionism, which can lead to a cascade of problems down the line.
When you think of imperfections and flaws as a normal thing - a natural part of life - you slowly realize that things are okay and as they should be. Imperfectionism is a realistic way of thinking. You learn to take things at face-value and appreciate them for what they are, not what you *think* or *want* them to be. You are perfectly imperfect and that is all you need.
5. Embrace Everything Wholeheartedly
Similar to accepting imperfections as a normal process, it’s important to embrace life as it is. Don’t dream about living your best moment, your best moments are happening right now! We are simultaneously living our best and worst life at the same time - at least that’s how I feel. That’s okay though. We need a balance of good and bad in our lives. The good moments make us love and thrive for more, while our bad moments make us appreciate the good ones. Or these bad moments can be teaching points for future moments in life.
You also learn to accept that certain things are semi-permanent and temporary. I say semi-permanent because life is always changing - we are always changing. There are certain traits that remain the same, but we change each day. Some things are temporary because these moments exist for a little bit, but easily fade away thereafter. Temporary means not dwelling on it and moving forward. While you might be hung up on something, the rest of the world continues to move forward.
Embrace the good, the bad, the highs, and the lows. Put yourself forward and you’ll continue to propel yourself in the right direction.
6. Strong Social Support Circles
To love yourself means surrounding yourself with the right peers. Your social circle impacts you more than you realize. Whether we like it or not, we are capable of being impressionable. You attract whatever energy you decide to radiate. Just like magnets, there are polar opposites that may repel away from you and people you magnetically attract. The moment you say to yourself “I know what I want,” “I know what I am capable of,” and “I know what I deserve,” the right people will stumble into your life - intentionally or unintentionally.
Be sure to set boundaries for yourself too. If you feel like your morals and values are not aligning with those around you, take a moment to reconsider your social group. Your group will impact you in every way, shape, and form. Take this opportunity to reevaluate YOURSELF - maybe you need to check yourself and see if you’re in the right headspace around your peers. Or perhaps you’ve noticed yourself change for the wrong reasons. Either way, you and your social group work together to have a fluid relationship, which will affect you whether you notice it or not.
Don’t limit this to only friendships. Your significant other, family members, coworkers, and anyone else you develop a close relationship with can affect you. Consider all social circles and take this as an opportunity to self-reflect.
7. Trust the Long, Timely Process
Of course things are always easier said than done, but do believe in the timely process. #TrustTheProcess is a real thing. Our choices add up on a daily basis! They call this the “metamorphosis effect,” where whatever choices you make lead up to the next and then the next. So whether or not you choose - or not choose - to do something, can lead up to other choices down the line.
The world has a plan for you and you are the one in the driver’s seat. Your choices will bloom into something beautiful soon enough - if anything you are living that beautiful life as we speak! You are exactly where you are meant to be and the process is already in the works
8. You’re One in a (7) Billion
Out of the 7 billion+ souls that occupy this planet, you are the only “you” to ever exist (except for maybe an alternate universe but that’s another story). Now, even though you are 1 of 7 billion, it is important to stay grounded and humble. You can be extremely proud of yourself while being considerate of others. It will take time to practice this balance, but keep it in the back of your mind. To think of yourself as the “main character” of your life is fine, so long as you do not neglect or ignore other people around you. “Main character” mentality gives off a very high-mighty and high-horse persona. It is a continuous battle of you are only 1 of 7 billion+, but also you’re only 1 of 7 billion+. Really, we’re just a dot in the grand scheme of things. The moment you can find that balance, you can shine without outshining others around you.
9. Be Unapologetically Authentic
To be unapologetically authentic means to be yourself and not give it a second-thought. You show the world your true colors without fear of stepping on someone’s toes. Of course, don’t be an a**hole, but be you 100% of the time. Carry yourself with high confidence - conquer your challenges with an open-mind, an open-heart, and open-eyes.
Unfortunately I cannot *tell* you how you are, and neither can your peers. Although people can describe you with many words and offer their views on your personality, remember that your self-definition means the most. How can you tell if you’re being unapologetically authentic? When you don’t give your thoughts, actions, or words a second-thought, you don’t need a second-opinion, and you do not need validation for what you do. You are authentically you and that is something many of us strive to be.
10. Take a Deep Breath - Right Now, it’s okay. It’s also okay to not be okay
Whatever persuaded you to check this out today, at this very moment - you are, and will be, okay. I’d like to think the world’s timing happens for a reason, even if we do not have a clear understanding of these reasons. I want to reaffirm you and let you know that whatever you’re working for, you will get there. If you’re having an awful day - whatever daily challenge you’re going through, I hope you can tell yourself it is okay to feel whatever you’re currently feeling
It might not be the perfect moment, but where you are right now, is exactly where you are meant to be. I’m cheering for you no matter what and know you will overcome it. You are strong and courageous :) I see your potential and I hope you can appreciate your own presence, just as I have appreciated yours while checking this blog out.
May you conquer the day, the week, or this very moment! Remember to love and appreciate yourself. There is only ONE you in this world. Give yourself the love, adoration, and compassion you deserve. Sending you nothing but positive vibes always.
Much Love,
Sienna N.
July 12th, 2021